Youth Group Leadership: It happens in the best of teams and as such in youth ministry as well: internal conflict or disagreements. Conflicts are always hard, but they’re especially tough to deal with in the church because we know we should all get along.

It happens in the best of teams and as such in youth ministry as well: internal conflict or disagreements. Conflicts are always hard, but they’re especially tough to deal with in the church because we know we should all get along. Unfortunately, the reality is that it doesn’t always work out and then we have to face the conflict. Here’s what to do when you’re faced with disagreement in your team:

1. Pray

It always starts with prayer. When you pray, keep in mind that the only one who wants conflict, who benefits from conflict, is the devil. God has told us to be peace keepers, peace makers, so He wants you to bring an end to the disagreement. Ask Him for guidance, wisdom and above all for humility and the willingness to be the least.

2. Listen

There would be a whole lot less conflicts if people started listening to each other better. Try to apply Stephen Covey’s principle of seeking to understand before being understood. If you listen to what everyone involved has to say and truly try to find out what the issue is, you will be able to solve the conflict much sooner than when you listen with your own agenda and your own issues in the back of your head.

3. Bow

Jesus has told us to be willing to be the least. In conflict, that’s often the solution. Determine how important the issue is you’re in disagreement over and when it’s not something fundamental, bow. It will be a powerful lead for the rest of your team to follow. Only take a stand when true principles are at stake, and even then you’ll need to do it lovingly.

4. Forgive

For Christians, forgiving is not optional, it’s a commandment. If we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us. So whatever people have done to you, forgive them. Yes, even when they don’t ask for your forgiveness or never even want to admit they were wrong. Forgive them and love them even more like before.

5. Forget

Once conflict is handled, don’t bring it up again. Don’t discuss it with others, don’t bring it up at meetings, just let it go. Let what’s in the past stay in the past, otherwise you’ll find yourself rehashing the same conflicts over and over again.